Dealing with Bridesmaid-zilla

You’ve all heard the tale of Bridezilla, right? The bride-to-be who is so manic, micromanaging, and stressed out that she becomes a nightmare to her friends, family, and sadly her spouse-to-be? Yes, we’ve all seen it – and it’s just pitiful. I vowed to myself that when the time came for me to wear the white dress, even if I couldn’t manage to be cool, calm, and collected, at the very least I would be nice!


Little did I know that it wouldn’t be me who would try to make a mess of my wedding, but one of my bridesmaids.


Jamie K. was my best friend in Chicago when I was in high school. We double dated to the Junior and Senior Prom, and were practically inseparable until she went to an East Coast School and I to a West Coast School. We still talked all the time, and on our holidays would hang out like we always had. That is, until I started dating Greg, a guy who we had gone to high school with, but who I didn’t really notice until after I graduated and started coming home at summer vacation.


They say that when you begin a new relationship that could potentially be serious you lose three friends – something to do with the combination of having less time and being infatuated with your new beau. Well, I didn’t start losing friends, but Jamie didn’t take it well. First of all she didn’t like him – she said he wasn’t good enough for me, and a whole lot of things that didn’t make sense at the time. We started hanging out less, and would go months without talking to each other.


Fast forward two years and I’m getting ready for my wedding day. Jamie and I (or so I thought) had gotten past our difficulties, and she and Greg had made friends at least on the surface. Things were going so well that I asked her to be my Maid of Honor. I didn’t really have a whole lot of friends that were girls, and she was still technically my best friend, so I figured why not. I also needed help with planning, something she was extremely good at.


That is, until she started arguing with me about everything. She hated the bridesmaid’s dresses I picked, she couldn’t stand the venue, if I’d say purple she’d say red – but that wasn’t too much to handle, it was that she started making passive-aggressive comments about Greg that completely baffled me. Until, one day, I had an idea. I knew I had to talk to Greg.


I said to him, “Is there any history between you and Jamie that I should know about?” He looked at me shocked and thought for a minute. “No history,” he said evenly, “she tried to kiss me at the Christmas party a few years ago, but I didn’t let her. I had my eyes set on you, my dear.” I wasn’t surprised, it made sense to me. She had acting so strangely because she was jealous, and I hadn’t been perceptive enough to see that until then.


Instead of getting upset – although I was tempted to – I did the right thing and called her, inviting her over for ice cream so we could talk. Which we did – for four hours – she told me about all the things she had kept a secret for so long, about her several-year-long crush on Greg and her being jealous of me for always getting the guys while she stayed single. Then, through tears, she apologized for everything, told me how good of a friend I was and that it was no point ruining a friendship over a guy. She promised that she would be better about things.


And, much to my delight, she was. The wedding preparations turned out to be a cinch – and when my wedding day came, everything went perfectly. Bridesmaid-zilla was successfully averted, I married the man I love, and I got my best friend back.


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